Friday, August 26, 2011

Why I do what I do not love: A response to self

As a student of the humanities trapped in the life of a business major, I find myself regularly frustrated by feelings of disaffection. It was during a particularly intense stretch of final examinations that my mind began burning in silent furry. I was physically and mentally exhausted but above all I laid on the brink of psychological defeat. I could no longer study. There, in the library, I would scribble down an impassioned sort of personal constitution. A justification of my choices and declaration of intent. After the half hour spent in composition of this piece, I found myself refreshed. Ready again the dive into tedium of indifference curves and balance sheets...

Because the universe is an organic whole
That I crave to know

Lest the Dionysian forget the Apollonian’s truth
Life cannot be splintered; Knowledge is one

The discipline of disciplines is sublime
And I cannot take what is not mine

So while I may not see, I might still know
If I forge on through I can still hope to grow
I must conquer the depths, beholden to the heights
For my hopeful days, I accept muddled nights
I am you and you are me
But I can still look upon you condescendingly
That which I do love is dependent on you
As the predator to his prey, so must I keep you
So I do what I do not love
And I fasten my eyes to the sky above
That it might one day take hold
And I might be both wise and old

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The difference in time

As seasons change so does our view of our surroundings. Winter brings on a lack of color and separates us from nature, we stay warm in our homes. Summer brings upon color and a closeness with nature, we bbq and camp. But it is all the same just a matter of perception.




Sunday, March 27, 2011

AGLUTINAR

Como dói a angústia,
De sentir a incerteza,
De sentir o talvez,
De sentir que nem tudo depende da gente,

Como dói sentir e não poder sentir,
Se entregar com algum limite,
Gostar sem poder gostar mais,
Enxergar, mas o que se vê é apenas uma incerteza,

Como são estranhas essas coincidências,
Como são surpreendentes os nossos caminhos,
Como é difícil perceber que somos tão pequenos...

Enfim, como dói a angústia.

This is a rough translation from google translate. Don't take it too literally...

Clumping


How painful distress,
Feeling of uncertainty,
To feel perhaps,
Feeling that not everything depends on us,

It hurts not being able to feel and feel,
Indulge in some limit,
Like without power like most,
See, but what you see is only one uncertainty,

How are these strange coincidences,
How amazing are our ways,
As it is difficult to realize that we are so small ...

Anyway, as painful anguish.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Moirae

On occasion of the Jewish holiday of Purim I revisit the tale through the prism of the my own perspective and the message that reveals itself to me...

The platitudinous sun rises and birds chirp
The grumbling of gears deafen man’s usurp
The feet carry on while the lungs sigh
Lost in meaninglessness the days blur by
Culture refined to rhythmic irrelevance
A scattered range of utter happenstance
Misplaced consciousness in a world undue
One plus one equals blue
In fear of futility we frantically run in place
Destined for nowhere and nothing in our endless race
We look for progress as if toward some culminate state
Each step seems to bring doom closer as he lay in wait
Reduced to vacuous being in a vacant life
Effervescently the people grow in strife
Time continues and events unfold
Cataclysm stayed by cause untold
Little by little momentum reversed
Survival as it happens merits durst
Such winds all the while unbeknown
The play pushes on in relentless tone
Motions become intelligent as resolve mounts
The saboteurs’ scheme unravels as he miscounts
Tomorrow’s fate perhaps not as yesterday foreshowed
The sight of life’s promise flickers in the mind’s abode
Still silently the pieces fall into place
As if orchestrated by some amazing grace
Suddenly the great decree rings loud and true
With tipping point reached ונהפוך הוא 
Unified in vision and state good prevails
Celebration ensues to mark our travails
Charged with the spread of fun, love and care
Each year we revisit the relief born of despair
In retrospect reality and percept don’t equate
Life may seem vapid but is in truth great
Though in the present direction eludes
All things considered meaning exudes

Monday, March 14, 2011

It doesn't matter who you pray to, for, or against, we as humans should all feel pain from this.

Natural disasters are killing people, and ruining lives in Japan, and many other areas of the Far East, and that is horrific.  But what I find more horrific, disturbing, and tormenting, is the brutal slaughtering of a sleeping family in Israel.

This weekend, on Shabbat, a group of Palestinian terrorists carried out unspeakable, inhumane murders ... and just like after the horrific deaths of our friends, family, and fellow countrymen on 9/11 when the Palestinian people, along with most of the Arab world, rioted with happiness;  to this, they reacted with joy, public celebration, and handing out sweets throughout their cities.

I understand that certain cultures are raised with prejudice and I know I can't change that. But I ask you this, Imagine being twelve again. The insecurities and confusion that we have all known. You walk home from a friend's house, and finding yourself locked out, find someone to let you in, only to be confronted with the sight of your mother, beaten and stabbed to death lying in a pool of her own blood. Your father,  in bed as if asleep, protectively wrapped around your newborn baby sister, both with their throats slashed like animals in a butchery. Imagine that horror. Now, you're running frantically to find your siblings, only to see your eleven year old brother, book open in his lap, slashed over, and over, and over,  to the point of death. You turn around, only to realize that your three year old brother, with multiple stab wounds directly through the heart, is lying dead in a mass of his favorite toys, soaked in blood.

I have five siblings. I am Israeli. I have two parents. This could have been me. Those could have been my brothers and sisters.  This could have been anyone you know, and love.

No matter what beliefs you have, what writings you follow - I can only hope, you would too, be appalled. I beg you, share this story, because no matter your political stance, your opinions on international law, this should evoke some type of emotion from every person.

We all have had parents. Many of us have siblings, or have best friends with siblings, or have babysat infants and toddlers. There are three surviving children from this family, ages 2, 6, and 12. Try, just for a moment, to feel their pain, horror, suffering, and hopelessness, after this scene has been forever seared into their memories. Imagine the shock, and fear they are living in now.

I understand that the overwhelming mass of people on the other side of the Pacific are going through a hell that I can't even dream of - but that seismic event, leading to an unimaginably destructive tsunami, was not brought intentionally on one person by another.

Please, just imagine coming home, to find any one member of someone you consider family, dead and lying in a flowing pool of blood. I personally, would not want to go outside to see people who have,  my entire life, looked at me with baseless hatred in their eyes, dancing and singing in the streets BECAUSE of my loss.

I'm only human. I am only ONE human. But celebrating the brutal murder of a family. A baby, a toddler, a child just learning what it means to be independent.... cannot be seen as an effort for peace.

It doesn't matter how left wing, right wing, conservative, or liberal you are: this should bring tears to your eyes, and make you cry out for the suffering of these children, their family, and the future of an entire people, once hunted, like animals, to the point of near extinction, who are all mourning for the loss of innocent lives butchered at the hands of absolute evil.

Stutter Delight

For some effortless, others may stumble
As they stutter and slur, grumble and mumble.
The right of expression is not theirs to be had
A gift endowed upon every young lad.
Frustration swells in the belly of the throat
Shackled down, waiting to come afloat
Each word articulated - a triumph of will
The heart pounds...and then remains still

Afflicted by this cruel disease
Might there be an opportunity to seize?
If decreed to not speak, I shall listen
To every soul in need, my ear shall glisten!
Do not the wise savour their every word,
As if it were a graceful bird?
Silence is the key to true insight
Forever shall she be my guiding light.